One of the traps on our spiritual path is to think that intellectual understanding equals to insight, and this knowledge can remove our suffering. Notice you may have well understood the intention behind one’s deed but you still find this pain in your heart. That tells you your intellectual understanding of the situation is not really helping you to release the suffering in your heart.
Our practice is not to reason with ourselves about what is right and what we “should” do, but to embrace all the feelings that show up in our hearts, whether they are of pain or of joy; just embrace them with all your love without trying to change the feelings into anything that they are not.
When we can offer this space to ourselves, we allow ourselves to have the right to feel what shows up in our hearts, should the feelings choose to release themselves from us, they will. And when that happens, that is the true moment of letting go.
Letting go is not a choice of action, it is the fruit of our practice.
Don’t force yourself to “let go” of something that you are not ready for. Rather, embrace yourself for everything that you are now and let yourself be. A skillful practitioner spends day and night reflecting one’s deed, observing all the things that one holds dearly and to see whether these things bring us to peace or suffering. When you lose genuine interest in something that you used to hold onto dearly (without forcing yourself to), then letting go is taking place.
Sending love to yourself now, to every part of you, to all that you are. That’s all we need to “do”.